When you really think deeply about it, putting others before yourself when you don’t want to, can actually be viewed as a selfish act. When we commit to things for the sake of pleasing others or ‘looking good,’ we are doing them for artificial reasons, and the resentment ends up getting the best of us. In turn, we go through with the commitment with a bad attitude, taking away from the enjoyment of others. Here are some more tips for putting yourself first for optimal happiness…
1. Push away the pride. We all love that sense of pride that we feel when we do something for others, even if it’s something that we dread doing. Pride can actually be a selfish thing, considering it’s an inward feeling that we are trying to accomplish. So, instead of saying yes for the pride part of it, allow someone else to take on the responsibility so they can feel a sense of pride. Especially if it’s someone who has less on their plate and more room for added responsibilities.
2. Fear of Missing Out. Also known as “FOMO,” this is the problem associated with those who feel as if they are going to miss out on something if they don’t commit to everything. One of the biggest drivers behind this new acronym, is social media. When we are bombarded by people’s social media posts touting off their latest adventures and social lives, we naturally feel as if we have to have a reel of photos and posts just as exciting. And if we don’t, we think we are missing out on life. This also causes us to compare our lives with others, which can lead to some major depression and anxiety. Facebook is often called “Fakebook,” and there is a good reason for that, as users tend to put up only the good stuff, shielding their friends from the reality of their lives. Sure, they are putting up happy family photos or pictures of them at a cocktail hour, but what are they up to when they aren’t showing off a trendy dress in a fancy venue? The best thing to do in order to avoid FOMO, is to ask yourself if the event or activity will enhance your life in any way. If not, then simply move on and mind your own business.
3. Forego the responsibility. Sometimes caring too much can actually hinder a loved one’s ability to grow. Giving up a little responsibility can be good for both parties involved, as it allows you to focus on your own happiness, and it gives your loved one a chance to learn how to make decisions, which will come in handy later on in their life. Whether it’s a sibling or a child, it may be time to let go of the hold you have on their life and let them fend for themselves. It will build strength in the long run.
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